'Emotional Roller-coaster'

I am literally so excited about Hitch right now. i keep getting kind of worried about it; people keep telling me that i wont be able to do it, that it's impossible to hitch-hike the whole way there, or that i'll be killed or that the guy i'm going with is a massive twat and it's kind of ruining it for me a bit. but then i get out the leaflet thing and read it all again, and become super over-excited. and the thing is that obviously, if no-one ever got there, or if i was likely to be killed, they wouldn't keep doing the event. and if the guy i'm planning on doing it with is actually a massive twat, then i guess either i will have figured it out after four months of knowing him, or he's not actually that much of a twat. either way, i figure i should just give him the benefit of the doubt because ultimately all you really have is your own reality, and you should trust that over the assumed reality of others.

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about myself recently, which sounds kind of weird, but i think it's a pretty important thing to do. and i've been thinking about how unmotivated i've been recently with my university work, and i thought i was just lazy. but then i was thinking about the fact that i can get up and go to work, even when i feel super ill, and how although completely terrified, i can work hard to raise money to go on a trip, and that if i was just lazy, then surely i wouldn't be able to get up for that either? so maybe right now, i'm not doing what i want to be doing, and i'm just too scared to admit that without uni i don't really have much of a life plan..ܤ